New Year's Eve is overrated, mostly when you're at home with old parents who go to sleep way before 11:00 pm. All you get to do is stay awake in a quiet house watching old movies.

The preparation of a new year is exactly what you make of it, just like everything else in life.

You may think your hand sewing is awful, but just try! You'll be surprised at how straight you can sew!

Being an anonymous troll is quite fun.  However, always try to see both sides of the problem and never push things too far.

Sometimes what you order is not what you get. What you wanted was braised fish...instead you got overly sweet fish jerky in a pot. Mmmmmm!

To properly heat chocolate, place a pot filled a third of the way with water on the stove.  Next, place a bowl with your solid chocolate on top of the heating pot.  This will lower the likelihood of your chocolate being burnt.

When doing a project, you may find that you excel in one aspect of the project. Once you find what you excel at, the project will be finished at a faster pace!

Not falling asleep during movie certainly helps one follow the plot (assuming there was a plot to begin with).

Having a low pain tolerance is a pain in the ass. Not for the patient, but for the doctor that has to continuously inject anesthetics until the patient can no longer feel the cuts!

Books.  Do judge them by their cover, title, and synopsis.

Gansta Twist 1!  YEAH!

The first paragraph says it all...

The best bet when going to the casino is to not play at all! Going in and walking right out will ensure that you will not lose a penny!

Mocking something and not caring about it may actually be the key to success.

Notice the word "may."

Great minds DO think alike. Mostly when it comes to presents. You may secretly wish for something, but don't want to ask for it and magically on Christmas day it appears as a special gift for you!!

Almost everyone has unexpected, secret talents.  Pay close attention to those around you.  You may be around a big star without knowing it!

Think it's too late to put up a Christmas tree? It's never too late to put up a Christmas tree. Even on Christmas Eve, it is still possible to decorate a beautiful tree. Christmas is just not the same without a tree!

Sometimes, having the pessimistic (which you may mistake as the realist) point-of-view pays off:  you end up having a great experience!  Expect little and gain a lot!

The dumbest thing you can do while driving is to use one hand to hold your cell phone while the other hand is holding a cigarette. Do you have a third hand on the wheel? Not only are you increasing your chances of lung cancer, you're increasing your chances of crashing and harming others. Don't be selfish. Use both hands (or at least one) on the wheel when driving.

There are many mysteries in life.  Some are easily answered, others are not.  When it comes to technology, those are usually easily answered.  Your silliness (may be read as "stupidity"), on the other hand, may not be so easy to answer.

Eating at a buffet all the time will cause you to look at food in distaste. Yes, yes, even an avid eater will look away at food placed in front of them after too many times at a buffet. Go occasionally, and the food will taste better!

Making up your own rules to games can be very exercising, especially if the game is Pictionary.

At an all you can eat, eat all you can!!! Mostly when there's a plethora of delicious delicacies that you have never experienced before!! Those few pounds of weight gain is worth it!

Sleeping on a couch is painful.  It also screws up your sleep schedule.

You will not get a good night sleep if you are sleeping in the same room as one who is snoring. The snoring will not lull you to sleep. Sleep in a different room if possible!

Oftentimes, when doing something out of the ordinary, you're often rewarded with a distasteful experience.  Try not to get too bummed out.  Call next time to verify.

If eating at a buffet, the best way to not eat a lot is to eat sushi!! You will eat lots of sushi, yes...but it's a lot healthier than all the fried foods slathered in oil!

Somehow, asking someone else to remind you something (even though you know they won't remember) magically works in making you remember.

Try saying that five times fast.

Sleeping at 3 in the morning will cause you to want to sleep for the rest of the day. The only time your eyes will be fully opened is when delicious mouth watering food is placed before you!

The winner of a competition does not necessarily make them the person better in talent or product, this is especially true in reality tv singing competitions.

Listening to old people can actually be entertaining. The "lessons" they teach are very amusing!

Lesson 1: "Get married to someone that loves you...you don't necessarily love them, but if they love you, it will be a good marriage."

Lesson 2: "Don't get married to someone you love, it will only be painful."

Lesson 3: "Get married to someone that your parents love, it will provide peace within the family."

All three lessons from one man. Main lesson from these three lessons: Don't ever get married!

Oftentimes, the world around us may seem full of despair, misery, and hopelessness.  However, there are people in the world who will go out of their way to help, love, and cherish others.  Listen to them.  Believe in them.  Assist them.  The smallest acts of kindness really do go a long way.

Don't sit by a drunk old Christian man on the plane. He will proceed to offer you drinks as well as offer you a way to heaven through the entire plane trip, even after you have stated that heaven is an unlikely destination for you, but rather home is the destination of this plane ride.

The saying "an oldie but a goodie" is usually right, especially concerning movies.

When being late for a test, parking in the restricted spot may no longer be a priority. The car in front of you may no longer be a priority. The fact that you are parked on a train tracks may no longer be a priority. Getting to the test on time and acing it is the main priority, regardless of the consequences. A on test = who gives a shit about the other shit that has happened!

If your schedule involves talking to friends, you're going to be late.  Pretty much no doubt about it.

Studying for more than 10 hours a day will make you go insane. You will hope that anyone will ask you to go out for a mere 15 minutes to do something other than studying! Take little breaks to ease your studying anxiety!

Eyes are always watching. Don't for one second think you are alone, someone will always see what you are doing...mostly when it's in broad daylight in a parking lot!!!

You may not care about PDAs, but many of us do.  Please, save a pair of eyes.

Studying in bed does NOT work...The warmth of the blankets and the softness of the pillow only induces sleep. Study elsewhere when trying to be productive!

The harder you try to stay awake, the more likely you are to fall asleep.

A picture is worth a thousand words. For some photographers, a picture is worth some hairs and teeth pulled and nasty glares. It doesn't hurt to take a picture for someone, if you don't like it, don't use it. One simple snap of a picture will not hurt you or your camera!

Whenever making things up on the spot (especially about another person), make sure that whatever you're saying has some validity.  Otherwise, you're going to make us all look like fools.

Old people are really wise. Listen to what they say. You may think they talk for a long time, but listen intently, their wisdom resounds with every word they speak.

Is your face always in a slump?  Do your friends misinterpret your facial expressions a lot?  Are you unversed in Internet memes?  If you said yes to any of the questions above, then this lesson is for you!

• Choose any of the following meme faces by clicking on the following link:  *CLICK*
• Obtain a mirror or webcam
• Commence imitation!

Not only will you have a versatile face in the end, you will also be well-versed in the many faces of the Internet!

Seeing a mutilated mouse is not a pleasant site to see. Don't mutilate a mouse or take part of one in any shape or form!

Life is actually full of delightful surprises if you take a step out of your cynicism boat.  Contrary to popular belief, you may not be as forgettable as you may think!

Retail therapy does not always entail buying something. You may get the satisfaction of trying on new shoes while keeping your wallet filled with money!

Being superstitious doesn't always pay off. In fact, it may hinder you from having a good day! Somedays, to satisfactorily live life, all you need to do is to "go with the flow."

Writing a paper for more than 5 hours depletes any energy to study for other subjects. Don't procrastinate and write little by little, it will allow you to study for other important subjects.

Watch out for little mistakes. They will frustrate you again and again for all eternity unless you pay attention to details.

Studying in a new environment may not always be ideal. Sometimes sticking to the same old routine will make you more productive!

It is a sad, sad day when you care more about Twitter updates from people you don't know in real life than status updates from your friends on Facebook.

Please encourage your friends to become witty and creative once more.

Being punctual is an important thing! Mostly being punctual to an event where food is served. If you are not punctual, all the food will be served and you will leave with an empty stomach! Avoid disappointment and an unhappy stomach, become punctual!

We're all much more similar than one might think. You'll never know when you suddenly look like an Indian (from India) celebrity.

Sitting all day is not a good thing. The food you ate a few hours ago? Still sitting there with you, giving you a very full tummy the entire day. Walk around or jump around like a maniac, don't become a fat ass!

99% of the time, pathos will override logos in a stress-filled situation.

Try to always maintain your composure.

Being a leader is a good thing, unless you assume the position. When you assume the position and start commanding those around you to do this and that without putting much effort to help...being a leader then, is not such a great thing.

One of the most wonderful, heart-wrenching experiences a person can have is to finish a series, no matter the media form.

Do NOT drink coffee or any form of coffee after 11:00pm. You will not fall asleep and you will bounce off the walls like a racquetball. Get your needed sleep, skip the coffee!

Once you find a niche in life, don't ever lose it over something trivial. You'll most likely end up regretting your hasty, stubborn decision.

When a kid says that they know they're dad dresses up as Santa, you may feel a little sad that this kid no longer believes in Santa. And then: "The real Santa is at the mall!! He sometimes comes to the library too, but mostly to the mall." Hope is not lost, don't ever think for one moment that it is.

A well-planned event may turn into an extremely interesting and quirky adventure!

Children are the best pick me up for a bad day! Just an answer to a simple question can be hilarious!! Example:

Boy: "How old are you?"
Me: "How old do you think I am?"
Boy: "Siiiix?"

Why thank you!

Details are important! They will help you distinguish fact from fiction as well as enable you to tell people apart!

Example:
Friend of yours: "I just waved at someone who I thought was you. How embarrassing!"

Exercise can be a such a pain in the butt, but once you start and keep going, it's not too bad! In the end you'll feel good about yourself after a good sweat!

Being thankful isn't just for the holidays.  Try to be thankful everyday, and if you really want to make someone's day, give them a simple, sincere "Thank you."

It's always amusing to trick someone who doesn't speak the same native language as you into believing something completely wrong! Try it when you need a good laugh!

One of the greatest joys in life is to help another human being succeed in a goal, no matter how small or trivial.

Cooking vs. Studying...cooking always seems to win!! Cooking alleviates stress as well as fills your tummy. Studying causes stress, headaches, and only fills your stomach with butterflies. Therefore the clear choice is cooking!

A little listening goes a long way.

The hardest question to answer is: Where do you want to eat? There's a plethora of delicious food that it's so difficult to just pinpoint one place to go eat! Go with one place and stick with it, changing the restaurant doesn't make others happy, mostly when they have an empty stomach!

Whenever thinking about something, try not to dwell too long on it.  You will only end up deliberating on things that may never happen.

Sometimes "friends" lie to get you to do something. Example: A "friend" promises to dance if you will dance first on the game "Dance Central." Once you've made a fool of yourself, the "friend" says, no and refuses to dance. LAME! In the end, you're the brave one for making a fool of yourself.

Oftentimes, people seek a deeper meaning in things when there isn't any, a second chance when there isn't one.

No means no.

Although your own family may not be around for the holidays, there are great people that will take you in and give you a holiday that is worth remembering! Thank those people who are around you!

Sometimes, it doesn't pay to be green.  You may end up with a rather unsavory concoction!

Example:
You have Coke (the soda...) in a cup and don't want to waste ice or another cup for apple cider.  So, you finish drinking the Coke and pour the apple cider in.  Rest assured that your drink will now be somewhat nasty.

Some days are meant to be spent alone instead of with a lot of people that will probably bug the living daylights out of you. If you know this day is coming, please stay home and don't interact with anyone...unless that someone is also experiencing the same thing!

Don't underestimate how far a simple thing can go.  All it takes is the correct manipulation.

Staying home for the majority of the day might cause you to cook all day long. Example: Come home from class early. Ooooh! Let's cook!

1. Congee
2. BBQ Pork Ribs
3. Vietnamese Chicken Salad
4. Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

No school = A lot of food!! Nom nom nom!

Having a break from studying is great, grand, fantastic! It'll give you time to catch up on things you need to do around the house and some TV shows with friends!

You know tights are too tight when the color of your skin blatantly appears in unsightly spots.  Please be courteous to others and yourself by wearing something that complements your figure and not contrasts against it.

Sometimes you should just let people do the things they want to do instead of fighting against them. A little struggle may lead to someone getting hurt, which could've been prevented if you had let the person do their thing in the first place!

No matter how old you are, or how many generations have past, never ever forget your heritage.

The tree may get higher, new leaves may sprout, but roots are what keep the tree alive.

Sometimes a person does not appreciate their culture until they are experiencing it before their eyes. Once you are surrounded by such amazing traditions, the appreciation and pride of being a part of bigger picture is astounding!

If you've ever been curious about whether or not you could be: on the next big K-pop dance team, appear on Dancing with the Stars, or some other dance competition, the best way to find out is to play a dancing game!

It doesn't matter what console you play it on, whether it's DDR or Just Dance.  If you can't pass a simulation game, you surely cannot dance in real life!

Ice skating may take some time and great balance to learn. With steady small steps you can definitely do it! Just be sure to not hold onto someone who likes to skate faster than their body can handle and loses their grip easily...you may end up face planting in the ice rather than skating on the ice!

Games are more fun when you combine multiple games together, along with a few of your made-up house rules.

Example:

• Pictionary + Charades (warning:  may lead to asphyxiation)
• Calvinball

Driving after taking a hard test as well as running on five hours of sleep is not a good idea. Refrain from driving, have a designated driver after a long week of tests and studying!

Quality takes time.  Don't worry about being the last one in a situation (unless it's a musical chairs of life or death).  Take your time and do an excellent job!

Studying in bed does not work. The comfy bed and warmth of the blankets induces sleep and deems studying useless.

To increase productivity significantly, study in a quiet area (e.g. library) with a person you know who is superbly intelligent and/or productive.  Your results will be:

Sometimes a text will wake you up when your eyes are drooping due to the boredom induced by dull words. Look for a friend that will not distract you too long but will occasionally send a text to wake you up to study!

Falling asleep while studying?  A surefire way to wake up is to watch someone that you're a fan of on live chat!  They'll be sure to humor you and amuse you within moments!  xD

Example:

• Kathy Beth Terry (Katy Perry) and Rebecca Black
• Felicia Day and Greg Aronowitz on Vokle!  >>CLICK<<

It's amazing how ornery a person can be when they are under an enormous amount of stress. Beware: Don't get in their way or you will get an unpleasant gift.

In this 21st century, labels and stereotypes are often looked down upon unless in some comedic, satirical display.  However, as time progresses, you experience these labels and stereotypes yourself, for better or for worse.  It is then that you realize what priorities you should have in your life, and how others prioritize you in their life.

Do not do ab exercises while you are sick. Yes, exercise is good a for a sick body, but not when you have a cough. The straining of the abdominal muscles due to crunches, will not feel well every time you cough. Avoid unnecessary pain at all cost!

You!  The traveler with the face!  You seek adventure?  Nay!  Adventure comes to you.

If you ever hoped for a dramatic car chase, screeching tires, frightened passengers, and/or an adrenaline rush, just drive to an unfamiliar place!

The further along you get into your major/career field, the more people you meet. Sometimes, these people are there to show you that this is not what you want to be like and hope that you were never like them. Be humble, it will get you far in life, regardless of what career field you choose.

As you do something, you gain momentum to keep pushing forward.  Don't think that if you just "take a little break," you'll be able to pick up where you left off.  More likely than not, you'll start over from square one.

Studying at home can sometimes be dangerous. Example: When bored, you may get an urge to cook something. This something turns into a plethora of goodies. Therefore, studying at home = weight gain!

When you are attempting to do something sneaky, it should be noted that sudden fits of laughter cancel out any sneakiness you had.

Just because your state doesn't get a lot of high end/cool retail stores, does not mean you should conglomerate in herds to go to the store 18 hours before it opens. If a store is opening, it is more than likely going to be in business for at least a month...

Sometimes, even when you do things of your own free will, Time seems to stand still.  Forever.

To simulate the state of a brain after a strenuous test, watch a Christopher Nolan movie!! Your head will be spinning like the top at the end of Inception.

Inconsistencies, when sent to well-informed people, are quickly demolished.

No matter how hungry you are, please do not eat out of a can. It's not healthy and makes the food less appetizing. Mostly when it's food that needs to be nuked and you're eating it cold!

In publishings concerning the award of academic achievement, it's probably a good idea to look up names/abbreviations of things you don't know about.  Otherwise, your awarding is suddenly questionable.

If, due to questionable awards, you do not stay in school, you can always make "music" from bodily functions and post them on Youtube to the chagrin/amusement (select one) of others.

When participating in an Anatomy lab, do not use food to compare body parts with. A food so appetizing may not seem so delicious anymore.

The less you want to learn of something, the more likely it will force itself upon you.

Example:
Don't want to learn how to use a Mac? The power may go out when you're on a different operating system, leaving Macs the only operable computers.

You can function with just 4 hours of sleep. Your attention and comprehension may not exist, but you will still be able to function!

Doing a project in many small parts is infinitely better than finishing the project in one long, awful, fell swoop.

When playing the game of 13, don't get too confident with your hand! You may have a pair of 2's, but that doesn't mean someone else can't trump you and make a fool of you!

Just because you can do one thing does not mean that you can do another thing that is similar.  To become great at something, you need practice and some innate talent (see October - Lesson 19).  Just because you're given the opportunity does not mean you will do a decent job.  In fact, you're more likely to be awful than awesome.

Example:

• Rebecca Black
• America's Next Top Model All-Stars making music videos
• Many viral videos
• Those so-called "triple threats"

Don't drive 70 mph on a main road while there is snow. You may be lucky that cops weren't around, but you don't want to risk your life driving stupid!

Everyone always thinks that they are the victim.  However, this is not always the case.  Be sure to contemplate how and why someone did what they did; things may be different than how you originally anticipated them to be.

Rocking a baby to sleep can be very comforting and relaxing. So relaxing that you may just fall asleep with the baby!

Oftentimes, small, subtle things will not get you noticed.  Every once in a while, a big, well-planned event is exactly what you need.

Watching a movie for the second time will still make a person jumpy. There may be parts of the movie where you failed to comprehend the first time. Example: Gushing blood from a wounded person as they take out a dagger from their body. Slightly disturbing.

There is a very fine line between being a thesaurus addict *coughstephaniecoughmeyercough* and being unversed in adjectives *coughhouseofcoughflyingdaggerscoughsubtitlescough*.  Try to stay in the middle.

Unintentionally scaring the crap out of someone is quite amusing.

1. Stand somewhere quietly with your phone/iPod on.
2. Wait until subject turns off the lights and steps out of the bathroom.
3. Observe the great entertainment before your eyes: A scared person who about shat their pants.

Bored on a public transportation vehicle?  Play the Yawn Game!  Yawn and count how many people you caused to yawn!

Need a little something to wake you up?

Equipment: A deck of playing cards and friend(s).

Instructions: Play California Speed!

Conclusion: This will get your brain PUMPED and you will no longer feel sleepy!

Warnings are important.  Security is important.  When people continually bug you to increase your security, following their advice may be a good idea.  If not, you may suddenly find an account hacked or perhaps find yourself locked out of your own device.

Those who are afraid of the camera may end up being the prime actor/actress you are looking for. Although shy, they may give you an Oscar worthy performance!

One of the most magical ways of waking up early, besides thinking about holidays and vacations, is to worry about somebody waking you up early the next day.  This fear will propel you into waking up much, much earlier than usual!

Running on low amounts of sleep can cause you to be delirious. The delirium may last longer than usual. For example: A conversation occurring on the previous day becomes more coherent 24 hours later... Get your sleep!!

When starting a new show or movie, never start it late at night.  There may be something that will frighten you out of your wits.

When asking for donations, drunk men or men who have done a little drinking, give the most generous donations.

One day, if you become rich and/or famous, don't forget about people from other socioeconomic statuses.  Help them out, lend a hand, earn good karma.  Don't, however, when hearing the doorbell ring or someone knocking, debate whether or not to answer, peek your head around the corner, and then go back into your rooms.  Make up your mind to either help or don't help.  Don't waver.

Those quirky talents that you thought were useless are not useless! They will prove to be handy sometime!

Insults, when mutually thrown in a humorous manner, are an acceptable form of conversation and amusement.  Insults, when said for no good reason, are not.  You just appear as an extremely abrasive, ill-mannered person.

In need of exercise? Find a nice neighborhood near a mountain and walk/climb around the area. This should definitely help you burn some of that cheeseburger you had earlier!

Whenever you are an audience member in a panel or presentation, especially one with few people, please remember to be polite.  A snide remark to a friend every once in awhile is fine--in fact, it may even be obligatory--however, continuous whispering IS noticeable and quite distracting, not to mention irritating.  Plus, the slurping of free drinks is also a no-no.

Going through a poorly lit neighborhood with a known cemetery in the same vicinity can be spooky considering the time of the year. Take a few friends for the ride and turn on the high beam!

If you're not a person to maintain a schedule, don't assume that you can suddenly do it on a whim!  Very rarely do interactions with friends last in an orderly time frame, especially when you're a spontaneous person.

It's amazing how one hour of studying can do! Try it and find out for yourself!

In moments of religious zealousness, the faithful may leave many faithless.

The internet is a very distracting thing. It will keep you from studying, it will keep you from doing anything productive, but it will provide you hours of entertainment!

If you ever feel like you're in a weird funk, whether that be an irritable mood or just a strange, unfamiliar feeling, go somewhere different for a bit.  Perhaps all you need to do is walk to a different room, or perhaps drive to a different city.  Whatever your escape method is, it will surely make you feel better.

If an obnoxious person is purposely annoying you while you are studying, first, ignore them. Second hope and pray that someone will take them away and amuse them, leaving you in peace! Third, refrain from hitting subject.

Sometimes, when you have a rocky relationship with someone, it's usually better to just let things happen, let it be real, rather than have a pretense of cheeriness that spouts rainbows and lollipops.  The latter fools no one and just generates a suffocating air of awkwardness.

Don't underestimate yourself. Sometimes it's ok to put yourself first, it won't be called selfish when you need to get yourself together. Once you're there, then you can care for others around you.

Karma, a potentially more dangerous adversary than Life, has a way of brooding silently, scheming in the shadows as you gather more and more negative points.  Unlike with good karma, which usually is rewarded to you in a quick, efficient manner, bad karma waits to explode on you in a [expletive]storm.

Work hard, your efforts will not go to waste. Using others' work as your own will get you no where, but scoffs and glares.

It's amazing what 9 hours of writing can do to your brain. The brain will disintegrate like Juicy Fruit gum that has been sitting in the mouth for too long. What's also amazing, is that this was written after the long 9 hours. Don't understand parts of this lesson? Completely YOUR fault.

Mistakenly, many think that the thesaurus is their friend.  However, as evident in many books today, it could potentially prove to be disastrous, especially when the thesaurus is used for an assignment.  On the other hand, one may learn some fascinating, fascinating (yes, double the word for oomph) new words/phrases that were previously unknown.

Example:  Exhaustion/lethargy --> Brain fag

Always see things for yourself. Example: Someone (friend, not so trustworthy) tells you that class has been cancelled. Go into the building to see for yourself if it is actually cancelled. You might find a classroom filled with your classmates.

When people leave/excuse themselves/log off/say goodbye, they will always have a reason.  Perhaps they need to be somewhere else, perhaps they are tired, perhaps they have other things to do, perhaps they are avoiding you.  Whatever the reasoning, you shouldn't constantly badger the leaving party into staying.  Otherwise, you will have at least one person quite irritated with you.

When opening a car door, open slowly...there might be a pole where you thought empty space was. This prevents dings and/or dents from your car door, but not laughter from your friends.

What has happened once will surely happen again.  Be it:

• Drama:  August - Lesson 59
• Unpleasant memories (read:  being sat on):  September - Lesson 29 
• Thinking before acting:  October-Lesson 34 , 
• Cooking events:  September-Lesson 36
•  Instinct:  October-Lesson 20
• Driving events:  there are too many to choose a single post.  Please, just go look at the driving label 
• Among a myriad of other things 

As a result, you may want to turn up your social network's privacy setting.  Then again, maybe you're the type that won't.

If you have an early morning flight and want to sleep in a little more, simply check in online and print your boarding pass and wear your pajamas on board!

When things go from bad to worse, don't forget to fight back*.  You never know, your opponent may have overestimated themselves and a simple push may be enough to crack through their defense(s).

*Not necessarily physically...

Eating an Oreo is great!! Eating a deep fried Oreo is even BETTER!!!

Hanging out with an age group younger than you?  If all goes well, great!  However, if you are having troubles and need to exert some power over them, remember that as an "old" person, you will have an ancient power invested in you.

Waking up early to eat a colossal donut for breakfast will put you in a coma, literally a coma. You will fall asleep for another 2 hours after devouring a Bavarian Cream donut.

Ever feel alone amongst your group of friends?  Do your interests just spiral in a different direction from those around you?  Does your fanboying/fangirling scare off normal people?  Then go to a convention concerning your favorite pastime!  You will then realize how "normal" you are compared to others with similar interests.

Taking picture of a rotating Hope Diamond is not an easy feat. Have fast fingers and a shutter speed, it will help immensely!

When communicating with someone about a potential meeting, event, or anything that requires another person to make some effort for you, be sure that there isn't any misunderstanding!  This saves time, effort, money, face, and potential arguments!

Talking about your cramps in public is NOT a good idea, especially when you're at a restaurant. Those around you would prefer to eat in peace without hearing about the excruciating pain that "time of the month" caused you.

Who needs plastic surgery or liposuction?  All you need are homophones!

Exhibit A:  "Oh, you deleted my 'but'."
Exhibit B:  "You deleted all my 'noes' too."

Lesson:  Editing parties can be fun!

Hard work really pays off, especially when it comes to cooking. A lasagna takes a lot of time to prepare and many hands are needed for help, but after a few hours of cooking, preparing and baking the results will not disappoint!

Have a good memory when other people depend on you for something.  Otherwise, they will plan for your untimely demise*.

*Note:  Hopefully not that drastic, but close enough.

When going to a really good restaurant, go with your instinct. Order what you first want and put down the menu, because the longer you look at it the higher your bill will become. Just order one thing, it'll give you a good excuse to come back again!

Practice, practice, practice.  That's the only way you're going to get better at something.  You say you have innate talent?  You're going to need to hone it.

Regardless of detours and closures, don't give up on getting to your destination. There will at least be one road that will get you to where you want!

Ignorance is bliss.  So is false ignorance.  If you fear that something will happen and you ask about it, there is now a 99%* chance of it happening.

*Percentage is not completely accurate. 

Don't wear a tight, short skirt. While walking you will constantly be pulling it down and all those around you will notice you like a orange construction zone cone.

Feeling creative?  Not wanting to do your homework?  Go for it!  Or at least start on that creative thing.  If you don't at least start on it, you'll feel regret later on when you're in a creative slump.

The perks of learning English: You won't mess up someone's order. For example, when someone orders a chicken sandwich it doesn't magically turn into a Big Mac and the customer is charged for the Big Macs. English is a great handy tool in your daily life.

Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You will look less stupid, and it will certainly help you out in the long run.

The fear of cemeteries can be defeated by going to Arlington Cemetery. Surrounded by serene scenery and a tranquil air of peace and patriotism, it puts your mind at ease where fear cannot be seen.

When you are presenting an idea to a group of people, try not to ramble.  If you do happen to ramble, please make it at least somewhat entertaining.  Otherwise, people will forget why they cared to listen to you in the first place.

Airline companies are cheap. You might be on the flight for a good 4 hours, but you will not get a meal. Instead you should pack tons of snacks and/or meal to suppress any hunger that may occur.

Airline companies' motto: Hungry customers are better than no customers.

Back in the day, talking into a Bluetooth made you look dumb and crazy.  Nowadays, talking into a Bluetooth still makes you look dumb and crazy, especially if you talk about subjects that you are clearly uninformed about.

Just because you didn't have friends over before, doesn't mean you won't have them over later. Yes, this does seem to amaze some people.

Contrary to popular belief, the older you get, the chances greatly increase for you to become less intellectual.  The only thing that makes up for this is experience, and sometimes, even that doesn't help.

Note:  Usually discovered during those moments you happen to listen in on a stranger's conversation and try not to raise your eyebrows and say:

It's a good thing to point out mistakes of groups that you care about. BUT, please don't point them out in such a negative way. When criticizing someone, be sure you have some credibility and that your criticism is flawless or it will not be taken seriously.

Whenever you know multiple people with the same name, be sure that you know who you are talking to.  Otherwise, you are going to feel rather stupid later on.

When talking on your cell phone and you can't hear what the other person is saying, saying "Yes, oh really?" does not always answer their question...Sometimes it gives away that you are not listening to them or the fact that the signal is bad. In this case, just be annoying and ask them repeatedly what they said.

Always double check your work, especially work involving words.  Otherwise, you may have some amusing typos, especially those that are homophones!

When a friend tells you to go to a remote island to "film" something and the props they bring are rocks, be wary!! You don't want to be the next "missing person" victim.

Never ever take family or friends for granted.  If you do, one day, you'll find yourself missing them.

Don't think that you can try to do a half-ass job and it will go unnoticed. It will be noticed by many and you will be known as the "Half-ass" for the rest of your life!

When put on the spot to present something, be sure to maintain an air of professionalism.  Otherwise, you become irritating very, very quickly.

When cooking for five people or more, get a big pot! A little pot that can fit measly 4 drumsticks is not enough to feed a crowd properly. Instead, you can use a little pot and a big pan to accommodate. In the end, just get a big pot.

To thicken a liquid, use starch and not flour.  Using the latter may add a questionable flavoring and/or texture.

Naps are the best thing in life. When you come home and want to do homework, but instead your eyes tell you otherwise...Listen to your eyes and just let them close for a nice long nap! It will brighten up your day.

What comes up, must come down.  What goes down, goes back up!

Whenever you start off a day badly (e.g. waking up after your class starts + knocking stuff off your desk), don't remain in a huff all day.  Appreciate the little positive things that happen and suddenly, all will be well (if not better!) once more.

When coordinating an event and the expected number of attendees will be over 100, do NOT order 10 pizzas and only 10 pizzas...It will NOT be enough to feed a horde of hungry college students.

Sometimes, things really just don't work out the way you want them to be.  It's fine. Just carry on.  If the chance comes by again for a positive opportunity, take it.  If the chance comes by again for an opportunity that ended negatively, think about things carefully, mull over it for a few days, talk about it with some people you know that care.  Then, and only then, can you decide whether to give the opportunity a second chance.

Watching a sequel to a very violent and gory movie, can make you take precautions. You will watch from behind a pillow, and watch from one eye when dramatic music plays. In the end, sometimes the sequel isn't as bad as the first one!

One of the surest ways to bond with people, make them laugh, and get raised eyebrows is to simply reenact a bowel movement!

Don't let autopilot fool you, it may take you on an unintended route in the opposite direction of where you actually want to be.

Sometimes, laziness just doesn't really pay.  Just a few extra steps will save you the consequences of later.

For example, when spotting a mosquito on the ceiling while you're sitting on a bunk bed does not mean you should grab the nearest pillow to whack the mosquito.

Don't think you're cute and charming when you say: "Excuse me miss, you dropped your...smile." You will get a scoff and rolled eyes in return.

Value your human allies!  You may think that you can do everything solo, but once you realize the benefit of working with someone else, you will rarely go solo again!

Discovering that your computer can type in a different language without a software is rewarding. Until you forget, and leave it in a native language causing you to be unable type your correct password in. Remember to change your settings back to English!

Be well versed in popular culture if you don't want to embarrass yourself during a game of Apples to Apples!

Kids don't really appreciate your presence until you're about to leave. If you want them to appreciate you sooner than later, pretend you have to leave and someone awful will be replacing you.

Oftentimes, you will hope fervently for something to be true.  However, since Life is never straightforward, the opposite generally happens.

Listen to what your body tells you, that hot burning sensation inside was not because you just saw some good looking hunk down the hallway. It's your insides boiling to help rid some bacteria! (Or an intuitive reaction your body puts into action when it knows you're dreading to go to a meeting.)

Don't give in to temptation, no matter how sweet the bait is.  The consequences are usually far, far dire.

Getting enough sleep is a definite must when it comes to studying for exams. If sleep does not come to you, take a swig of tea or coffee in the morning...that should help you last a few hours!

Ever feel like apathy is the best way to go?  Read >>this<< essay.  You may think twice about being apathetic.

Do not let dragonflies out of your sight! They come out of nowhere and can disappear as fast as they appear. One minute they're stuck in between your blinds, the next they're chillin' out on your bed! Two seconds later, you're scrambling to find where it was to prevent from sleeping with a dragonfly or having it fly in your drooling mouth.

Please remember to shower frequently.  Otherwise, you may have a nice touch of vomit added to your overall stench as nearby people barf from your lack of hygiene.

It's a great idea to start a blog! It comes in handy when you feel like you're going to make the same mistake again, you just check your blog and see what you did the first time!

June-Lesson 38

And voila! An edible and delicious omelet!

If you don't work hard for something, you will most certainly lose it.  And oftentimes, retribution is just around the corner, increasing in strength with each misstep you take.

When sliding down a bouncy slide, hold onto your knickers!! You never know what might fall out or what you may hit on the way down.

Curious if you have a higher-than-average patience level?  Be in charge of an activity for children.  If you don't feel like strangling any children after 2+ hours, you have a higher-than-average patience level.

P.S.  This also doubles up as a test for your compassion capacity.

How to be a gentleman: If you are taller than a lady, please do not stand in front of them during a concert, you will obstruct their view.

How to be a lady: Walk properly, do not flaunt your big booty and ram into others while you're running like a stampede.

One of the best ways to satisfy your fear of being talked about in another language is to gawk awkwardly at a family that isn't your ethnicity.  We weren't talking about you.  Now we are.

Doing math when waking up from a nap is not ideal. You will come up with answers that make no sense and have problems figuring out the correct answer.

Life enjoys making you think one thing before abruptly doing a 180.

Example:  You are walking out of a building behind two guys chitchatting.  Unexpectedly, one of the guys holds open the door not only for you, but for two girls way behind you as well!  You think "Hey!  Chivalry is totally alive!"

Life chuckles sinisterly at this moment though, mind you.

As you sit on a shuttle, you watch as some motormouth boy gets on the shuttle while talking on his phone.  As the bus begins to move, the boy, unaware of his surroundings, stumbles and sits on you .  However, unlike a considerate human being, he merely scoots onto the seat next to you and continues yapping away, no apologetic look or phrase.  At the next stop, when there is suddenly a seat free on the other side, the boy (now done talking) goes over to the other side and sits there as if you were the one taking up too much space.

Making food and having someone eat it with you, makes a meal so much better!! Especially when the food made is actually edible!

One of the most horrible, greatest joys in life is to listen to someone's boastful conversation and know that they are lying while they have no idea that you're listening.

Lesson:  just because you're lying to people you've barely met does not mean that they won't find out the truth.  They will, soon enough.

People are always watching you. You might think that you're discreetly looking at your phone or picking your nose for that matter, someone will see you!! If you want to be discreet, try a dark closet.

The surest way to not be talked about negatively, besides being a nice personal in general, is to not be a flaker.  If you are a flaker one too many times, be certain that you may receive a lovely gift for Christmas or your birthday, that is, a Head and Shoulders shampoo bottle.

If you want to tell a loved one that they need to start eating healthier and exercise more, the best way is to hand them a real human heart that has gone through several bypass surgeries, valve replacements and heart attacks. That should definitely do the trick!

Never think that you've seen or heard it all.  Just when you think you have, you will look out your apartment window and suddenly see a woman lying with her back on the grass, a burning cigarette in one hand while playing with a hula hoop with the other hand.  And before you know it, a man will join her (minus the hula hoop).

Expect the unexpected.

Except if you expect the unexpected, then aren't you expecting the expected? 

Getting only four hours of sleep before a flight may seem tiring, but time spent with family is well worth the loss of sleep!

It doesn't matter how many times you've been told "Always make sure you have everything necessary before you settle down and start working,"because time after time, you will sit down, spread your work before you, grab a mouse/writing utensil and just as you're ready to be productive, you suddenly realize:

A)  If you are using some electronic device, especially that of a public school lab, you aren't sitting at the right station, either because your computer doesn't have the right software or because it doesn't have the right operating system.

B)  You accidentally left some needed materials elsewhere and now you're much too lazy to get it.

So, for the umpteenth time, make sure you have all the things you need before you lose that "focus mode"!

Beware, not all is what it appears to be. Example: At weddings, there are tea ceremonies where elders and close relatives are served tea, or maybe it wasn't tea. Maybe what you sipped was in fact hard liquor that you were supposed to only sniff. Beware, not all is what it appears to be.

Don't forget that in whatever you do, there will always be someone better than you.  If you brag, boast, and act  pretentious, just wait for your comeuppance to cause you to fall from your high pedestal.

An exciting ride can be made more enjoyable than it already is with some hysterical laughter from your mother as well as a nervous laugh from your father while he is closing his eyes the whole time!

The surest way to appreciate what you have is to juxtapose it next to something so opposite, so horrible, so dreary that you can't help but smile at the difference.

However tired you are, food will always wake you up!! Good food that is. Your eyes may feel droopy as you struggle to keep them up with some chopsticks. No worries, when a dish of deep fried fish, lobster tail with ginger, and Peking duck comes past, there is no way to be asleep anymore!! Use those chopsticks and dig in!

One of the most frightening things a person can experience in life is to chance a glimpse at their future.  It doesn't matter if this is by watching a movie, observing someone older than you, or through psychic phenomena.  Learn from not only your mistakes, but also from other people's.  Don't be a(n) [insert chosen expletive here] and end up jobless, alone, and depressed.

You know you don't fit in when you walk into a clothing store and all the workers just look at you. But when a group of rich looking women come in, they are greeted by, "Oh heeey girls! How are you today?" When this occurs, it'd be best to go naked than wear clothes from that store.

The surest way to be productive is to do something not only early, but also on a whim as well!

Also, to ensure productivity during group settings, do not:
A)  Turn on the TV
B)  Have an awkward seating arrangement that does not allow everyone to see everyone else
C)  Mention food

You don't know what is missing from a kitchen until you actually use the kitchen. Example: Baking brownies.

"Do you have a whisk?"

"No."

"Do you have measuring cups?"

"No."

"Do you have a tablespoon?"

"No."

This is when you know, it's time for a housewarming partay!!

Just because you're not talking doesn't mean that people aren't watching you.  Always be sure to help out when necessary and think carefully before you speak.

It is quite amusing how much you can trick someone into believing something. It also takes a lot of work to doing that, but it is definitely worth it!

If you have a friend that is a shopaholic, don't just think that they'll go buy clothes or accessories.  In fact, they may be a groceries shopaholic as well...

However, be careful how you judge people, karma may just be around the corner.  Literally.

Remember what pictures and videos your friends have taken of you over skype...Once they dig it up, it may bring some hysterical laughter throughout the house.

To keep moving forward is always a good thing, but every once in awhile, look back at some old photos, files, and whatnot.  You may end up with sidesplitting laughter as a result!

Swimming is a great test of time. It tests to see if you still remember to stay afloat when someone drops you in the water. It also tests to see if you can still fit in your swim suit after a year of not swimming.

Whenever your life is placed in someone else's hands, don't trust them to make the right decision for you.

When asking someone their current grade in school at a college Welcome Social, do not guess: "Oh, are you a sophomore or junior in high school?" More than likely, most of the people at the Social are in COLLEGE or a COLLEGE staff member.

Need an ironing board?  Don't have the money?  Well, do we have a solution for you!  Simply remove a kitchen cupboard shelf and place it on your dining room table.  Voila!  Presto change-o!  And cheapo too!

Laughing is the best medicine. Why? Because it cause you to work every muscle in your body. You know you have gotten a great work out when your face hurts from laughing, at least hope that it's from laughing and not from someone hitting your face because you are laughing at them!

Always make sure your blinds are closed: at night, when you're changing, and whenever you're sleeping.  Otherwise, you will get creepers (friends?) staring at your window while you suddenly get an uncomfortable feeling.

Fly buzzing all around you and won't stop?? Don't have a fly swatter handy?? Don't fret, newspaper is the next best thing!! Also doubles up as paper towels...you know, for the guts and stuff.

Name tags these days have horrible adhesion, especially if they are the kind that feel nice and thick.  You must either bring tape to functions that have these name tags or you must simply have skills for making name tags stay put.

Internet makes the world go round. Period.

Drama is a[n unfortunate] necessity of life.  No matter where you are, who you are with, and what you have experienced, it somehow always manages to insert itself into your life.

Stick to what you're good at. When you get rave reviews about your incredible talent, you should continue to pursue that talent because sometimes trying new things, just doesn't pay off.

Like in the movies, the pupil--the protégée--will surpass the sensei.

Make sensei proud!  ^-^

Kids say the darnedest things! For example, you should not swear in front of a kid because they will say: "Don't say *insert expletive here*, it's a bad word!"

What has been seen cannot be unseen.  The best way to avoid being caught is to never do the deed in the first place.  However, if the deed has been done, be sure to remove all signs of evidence!

You can run on four hours of sleep and make a really productive day out of it. Although, it would not be best to do this continuously.

Always make sure that your alarm is not only set for the correct time (AM/PM), but also set in the first place!  Otherwise, you'll be making a mad dash out the door to avoid being significantly late.

When standing on a shuttle, it is NOT nice to place your arm pit in someone's face, as well as step on their toes. In the case that you do hover over someone in this manner, please where soft shoes as well a lot of deodorant.

The surest way to know that the shameful know no bounds is to attend a college function, that is,an informal, free "party."  There, you'll see so-called "dancing" and many a drafty outfits!  A great place to observe and exercise the eyebrows!

When a door is closed, knock. Don't just randomly slide things under the door and have the person inside open the door and give you the "What the hell?" look.

Just because you hear the question "Have you received your free [insert noun]?", do not pause or turn around interested.  If there isn't a crowd in front of the stall, it probably means there's a catch, and if you DID turn around interested and didn't want to apply for something, you'll hesitate before muttering and walking away awkwardly.

Awkward situations may bring back the memories of what brought on the awkwardness. It may also bring some good laughs!

Whenever you have two similarly labeled classes and one is canceled, be sure that you don't mix the two up.  Otherwise, you just caused yourself a lot of trouble...

Living without a shower curtain can be tolerable. Living without a garbage bin can be manageable. Living without internet, a death penalty.

Even when you've managed to dodge a bullet, don't prance away and let your guard down.  Very rarely does an assassin only have one bullet.

The first day of school is always stressful, don't make it more stressful by wearing five pounds of makeup and 5 inch heels to college...you won't be getting the looks that you were intending to get.

Sometimes, less is more, especially when it concerns t-shirt designs that you want people to wear in public.  Compromise is the best solution to have a cluttered, clunky design.

Moving is a pain in the ass. You might be excited for a new setting, but once you crank out the muscles to move every single item you own...you might want to change your mind.

The surest way to learn to cook is to live in an apartment in college without a meal plan.  If you decide to not cook, you will either have one of two choices:

1)  Continuously eat frozen/processed food to get clogged arteries and die fat
2)  While eating nothing and drinking only water, you will die skinny

So, yes, cooking seems like the most ideal option; it is potentially both healthy AND tasty!

Being punctual is a very important and great attribute to have. Remember to carry this everywhere you go. Being punctual to class, social events, and meetings are important, but the most important thing of all is to be punctual to a flight home. If you're not punctual, you will definitely suffer the dire consequences.