Don't think that you can try to do a half-ass job and it will go unnoticed. It will be noticed by many and you will be known as the "Half-ass" for the rest of your life!

When put on the spot to present something, be sure to maintain an air of professionalism.  Otherwise, you become irritating very, very quickly.

When cooking for five people or more, get a big pot! A little pot that can fit measly 4 drumsticks is not enough to feed a crowd properly. Instead, you can use a little pot and a big pan to accommodate. In the end, just get a big pot.

To thicken a liquid, use starch and not flour.  Using the latter may add a questionable flavoring and/or texture.

Naps are the best thing in life. When you come home and want to do homework, but instead your eyes tell you otherwise...Listen to your eyes and just let them close for a nice long nap! It will brighten up your day.

What comes up, must come down.  What goes down, goes back up!

Whenever you start off a day badly (e.g. waking up after your class starts + knocking stuff off your desk), don't remain in a huff all day.  Appreciate the little positive things that happen and suddenly, all will be well (if not better!) once more.

When coordinating an event and the expected number of attendees will be over 100, do NOT order 10 pizzas and only 10 pizzas...It will NOT be enough to feed a horde of hungry college students.

Sometimes, things really just don't work out the way you want them to be.  It's fine. Just carry on.  If the chance comes by again for a positive opportunity, take it.  If the chance comes by again for an opportunity that ended negatively, think about things carefully, mull over it for a few days, talk about it with some people you know that care.  Then, and only then, can you decide whether to give the opportunity a second chance.

Watching a sequel to a very violent and gory movie, can make you take precautions. You will watch from behind a pillow, and watch from one eye when dramatic music plays. In the end, sometimes the sequel isn't as bad as the first one!

One of the surest ways to bond with people, make them laugh, and get raised eyebrows is to simply reenact a bowel movement!

Don't let autopilot fool you, it may take you on an unintended route in the opposite direction of where you actually want to be.

Sometimes, laziness just doesn't really pay.  Just a few extra steps will save you the consequences of later.

For example, when spotting a mosquito on the ceiling while you're sitting on a bunk bed does not mean you should grab the nearest pillow to whack the mosquito.

Don't think you're cute and charming when you say: "Excuse me miss, you dropped your...smile." You will get a scoff and rolled eyes in return.

Value your human allies!  You may think that you can do everything solo, but once you realize the benefit of working with someone else, you will rarely go solo again!

Discovering that your computer can type in a different language without a software is rewarding. Until you forget, and leave it in a native language causing you to be unable type your correct password in. Remember to change your settings back to English!

Be well versed in popular culture if you don't want to embarrass yourself during a game of Apples to Apples!

Kids don't really appreciate your presence until you're about to leave. If you want them to appreciate you sooner than later, pretend you have to leave and someone awful will be replacing you.

Oftentimes, you will hope fervently for something to be true.  However, since Life is never straightforward, the opposite generally happens.

Listen to what your body tells you, that hot burning sensation inside was not because you just saw some good looking hunk down the hallway. It's your insides boiling to help rid some bacteria! (Or an intuitive reaction your body puts into action when it knows you're dreading to go to a meeting.)

Don't give in to temptation, no matter how sweet the bait is.  The consequences are usually far, far dire.

Getting enough sleep is a definite must when it comes to studying for exams. If sleep does not come to you, take a swig of tea or coffee in the morning...that should help you last a few hours!

Ever feel like apathy is the best way to go?  Read >>this<< essay.  You may think twice about being apathetic.

Do not let dragonflies out of your sight! They come out of nowhere and can disappear as fast as they appear. One minute they're stuck in between your blinds, the next they're chillin' out on your bed! Two seconds later, you're scrambling to find where it was to prevent from sleeping with a dragonfly or having it fly in your drooling mouth.

Please remember to shower frequently.  Otherwise, you may have a nice touch of vomit added to your overall stench as nearby people barf from your lack of hygiene.

It's a great idea to start a blog! It comes in handy when you feel like you're going to make the same mistake again, you just check your blog and see what you did the first time!

June-Lesson 38

And voila! An edible and delicious omelet!

If you don't work hard for something, you will most certainly lose it.  And oftentimes, retribution is just around the corner, increasing in strength with each misstep you take.

When sliding down a bouncy slide, hold onto your knickers!! You never know what might fall out or what you may hit on the way down.

Curious if you have a higher-than-average patience level?  Be in charge of an activity for children.  If you don't feel like strangling any children after 2+ hours, you have a higher-than-average patience level.

P.S.  This also doubles up as a test for your compassion capacity.

How to be a gentleman: If you are taller than a lady, please do not stand in front of them during a concert, you will obstruct their view.

How to be a lady: Walk properly, do not flaunt your big booty and ram into others while you're running like a stampede.

One of the best ways to satisfy your fear of being talked about in another language is to gawk awkwardly at a family that isn't your ethnicity.  We weren't talking about you.  Now we are.

Doing math when waking up from a nap is not ideal. You will come up with answers that make no sense and have problems figuring out the correct answer.

Life enjoys making you think one thing before abruptly doing a 180.

Example:  You are walking out of a building behind two guys chitchatting.  Unexpectedly, one of the guys holds open the door not only for you, but for two girls way behind you as well!  You think "Hey!  Chivalry is totally alive!"

Life chuckles sinisterly at this moment though, mind you.

As you sit on a shuttle, you watch as some motormouth boy gets on the shuttle while talking on his phone.  As the bus begins to move, the boy, unaware of his surroundings, stumbles and sits on you .  However, unlike a considerate human being, he merely scoots onto the seat next to you and continues yapping away, no apologetic look or phrase.  At the next stop, when there is suddenly a seat free on the other side, the boy (now done talking) goes over to the other side and sits there as if you were the one taking up too much space.

Making food and having someone eat it with you, makes a meal so much better!! Especially when the food made is actually edible!

One of the most horrible, greatest joys in life is to listen to someone's boastful conversation and know that they are lying while they have no idea that you're listening.

Lesson:  just because you're lying to people you've barely met does not mean that they won't find out the truth.  They will, soon enough.

People are always watching you. You might think that you're discreetly looking at your phone or picking your nose for that matter, someone will see you!! If you want to be discreet, try a dark closet.

The surest way to not be talked about negatively, besides being a nice personal in general, is to not be a flaker.  If you are a flaker one too many times, be certain that you may receive a lovely gift for Christmas or your birthday, that is, a Head and Shoulders shampoo bottle.

If you want to tell a loved one that they need to start eating healthier and exercise more, the best way is to hand them a real human heart that has gone through several bypass surgeries, valve replacements and heart attacks. That should definitely do the trick!

Never think that you've seen or heard it all.  Just when you think you have, you will look out your apartment window and suddenly see a woman lying with her back on the grass, a burning cigarette in one hand while playing with a hula hoop with the other hand.  And before you know it, a man will join her (minus the hula hoop).

Expect the unexpected.

Except if you expect the unexpected, then aren't you expecting the expected? 

Getting only four hours of sleep before a flight may seem tiring, but time spent with family is well worth the loss of sleep!

It doesn't matter how many times you've been told "Always make sure you have everything necessary before you settle down and start working,"because time after time, you will sit down, spread your work before you, grab a mouse/writing utensil and just as you're ready to be productive, you suddenly realize:

A)  If you are using some electronic device, especially that of a public school lab, you aren't sitting at the right station, either because your computer doesn't have the right software or because it doesn't have the right operating system.

B)  You accidentally left some needed materials elsewhere and now you're much too lazy to get it.

So, for the umpteenth time, make sure you have all the things you need before you lose that "focus mode"!

Beware, not all is what it appears to be. Example: At weddings, there are tea ceremonies where elders and close relatives are served tea, or maybe it wasn't tea. Maybe what you sipped was in fact hard liquor that you were supposed to only sniff. Beware, not all is what it appears to be.

Don't forget that in whatever you do, there will always be someone better than you.  If you brag, boast, and act  pretentious, just wait for your comeuppance to cause you to fall from your high pedestal.

An exciting ride can be made more enjoyable than it already is with some hysterical laughter from your mother as well as a nervous laugh from your father while he is closing his eyes the whole time!

The surest way to appreciate what you have is to juxtapose it next to something so opposite, so horrible, so dreary that you can't help but smile at the difference.

However tired you are, food will always wake you up!! Good food that is. Your eyes may feel droopy as you struggle to keep them up with some chopsticks. No worries, when a dish of deep fried fish, lobster tail with ginger, and Peking duck comes past, there is no way to be asleep anymore!! Use those chopsticks and dig in!

One of the most frightening things a person can experience in life is to chance a glimpse at their future.  It doesn't matter if this is by watching a movie, observing someone older than you, or through psychic phenomena.  Learn from not only your mistakes, but also from other people's.  Don't be a(n) [insert chosen expletive here] and end up jobless, alone, and depressed.

You know you don't fit in when you walk into a clothing store and all the workers just look at you. But when a group of rich looking women come in, they are greeted by, "Oh heeey girls! How are you today?" When this occurs, it'd be best to go naked than wear clothes from that store.

The surest way to be productive is to do something not only early, but also on a whim as well!

Also, to ensure productivity during group settings, do not:
A)  Turn on the TV
B)  Have an awkward seating arrangement that does not allow everyone to see everyone else
C)  Mention food

You don't know what is missing from a kitchen until you actually use the kitchen. Example: Baking brownies.

"Do you have a whisk?"

"No."

"Do you have measuring cups?"

"No."

"Do you have a tablespoon?"

"No."

This is when you know, it's time for a housewarming partay!!

Just because you're not talking doesn't mean that people aren't watching you.  Always be sure to help out when necessary and think carefully before you speak.

It is quite amusing how much you can trick someone into believing something. It also takes a lot of work to doing that, but it is definitely worth it!

If you have a friend that is a shopaholic, don't just think that they'll go buy clothes or accessories.  In fact, they may be a groceries shopaholic as well...

However, be careful how you judge people, karma may just be around the corner.  Literally.

Remember what pictures and videos your friends have taken of you over skype...Once they dig it up, it may bring some hysterical laughter throughout the house.

To keep moving forward is always a good thing, but every once in awhile, look back at some old photos, files, and whatnot.  You may end up with sidesplitting laughter as a result!

Swimming is a great test of time. It tests to see if you still remember to stay afloat when someone drops you in the water. It also tests to see if you can still fit in your swim suit after a year of not swimming.

Whenever your life is placed in someone else's hands, don't trust them to make the right decision for you.

When asking someone their current grade in school at a college Welcome Social, do not guess: "Oh, are you a sophomore or junior in high school?" More than likely, most of the people at the Social are in COLLEGE or a COLLEGE staff member.

Need an ironing board?  Don't have the money?  Well, do we have a solution for you!  Simply remove a kitchen cupboard shelf and place it on your dining room table.  Voila!  Presto change-o!  And cheapo too!

Laughing is the best medicine. Why? Because it cause you to work every muscle in your body. You know you have gotten a great work out when your face hurts from laughing, at least hope that it's from laughing and not from someone hitting your face because you are laughing at them!

Always make sure your blinds are closed: at night, when you're changing, and whenever you're sleeping.  Otherwise, you will get creepers (friends?) staring at your window while you suddenly get an uncomfortable feeling.